After the highly successful cooking event at the Miele Experience Centre and the Barbecue with Weber Grill at Barking Deer, here is a inspired guest post from Floh member, Ketaki, on why it’s important for single men to know how to cook. Guaranteed to impress.

Let’s start with a disclaimer: No, we aren’t expecting you to be Jamie Oliver, or Sanjeev Kapoor. Just cook. Or at least, have the will to. 

Here’s my submission: A man that can cook, is so much sexier than one who can’t. Why, you ask? Well, here goes:

1. It’s an excellent date option: Seriously, what’s sexier than “I’ll cook for you”?  Much nicer than flowers, chocolates, the wine and dine…..most date options (unless you’re super rich and planning a yacht cruise type date. In that case you’re excused!!). Oh, and in case you didn’t think about this – most women won’t sit pretty in the hall while you’re whipping up the dinner. We’ll join you in the kitchen, and it’s an awesome way to spend time together.

2. College Boy vs. Working Man: I see most men cringe as they read that. But you know …its true. Guys we dated in college couldn’t cook. We didn’t expect them to. Everyone survived on dabbas, hostel food or whatever the eating scene was in your city. But we’ve grown up since then, right? We’re all managing houses of some sort (ok, not the way our moms did, but still), either singly or with room/flatmates. A man who can manage a kitchen, is one who’s definitely over his hostel hangover.

3. Being helpless around the house is so 70s: It looked good in movies. Back then. Not now. It’s good to know that the house won’t fall apart if we’re not around to look after it. That dishes can be washed, and we can expect an edible (dare we hope for more?) meal in bed if we’re sick. 

4. We’re working too: The same hours and as demanding a job. A man who can cook isn’t afraid of chopping a few veggies or stirring up a stir fry. Awesome on the days that the meetings run long or when we’re just plain pooped and can’t deal with dishes.

So – can you cook? At least a little bit? Bring that up in conversation, and trust me on this – you’ll get a few (actually, several!) brownie points. And, a tip for the ones who can’t – at least profess an interest in learning ;). We’re generous; we’ll love you for that too!

Floh members have always loved theatre events. This is a guest post by our friends at Jagriti Theatre on what a Floh event looks like from their side of the table. Enjoy!

A theatre workshop is an ideal event for a company like Floh, India’s “first and only national singles network”.

Jagriti and Floh have worked together before, with us running an acting workshop for a group of Floh members followed by lunch at The Fat Chef.

Now we’ve tied the knot… well, we’ve at least we’ve made it a regular date, with Jagriti conducting one workshop per quarter for Floh members. Says Siddharth Mangharam, CEO of Floh, “Theatre workshops are an ideal way for singles to get to know each other. There’s actually no other event that we’ve done where barriers are broken so quickly and easily. And the state-of-the-art infrastructure at Jagriti makes the whole experience just perfect. We’re back for more!”

Arundhati Raja, artistic director and co-founder of Jagriti, says, “The exercises used in a basic acting workshop are developed to enable an actor to use his/her body and face without being self-conscious, without embarrassment. These work just as well for anyone–life is really a stage we all play on right? Being aware of the signals we give out (through our body, face and voice), and how they are perceived is the first step to being honest with others. The other important facet of theatre is the fact that it requires good teamwork. In such a setting, for a singles group, it allows everyone to get to know each other in an open and fun environment.”

Siddharth adds, “ Our members loved it! Many of them enjoy the theatre-going experience, but had never been on stage before. This was a great opportunity for them to experiment with getting on stage in an easy way. The best part of it was that Mrs. Raja, Sukhi Aiyar and Vivek Madan are at the top of their game and made the experience one to remember.”

The first workshop of this partnership will be on June 2, 2013.

(This post first appeared in the Jagriti blog.)

- Siddharth Mangharam, CEO - Floh.in

As a happily married couple well into our 30s, my wife and I have a surprisingly large number of women friends who are single. Most of them are in our age group and are exceptionally qualified, articulate and financially secure. It always amazes me to see how these very traits have led to these women remaining single.

Based on my personal observations, here’s what I’ve seen typically play out (And since they are personal, and not based on extensive research, they are by nature unscientific).

One typical pattern is that in college, a woman has no dearth of guys interested in her. Her would-be suitors are her college peers, older guys who are working and even much older men who are highly avoidable. Whichever way you look at it, at this stage there are more guys interested in women than vice versa.

While she’s getting her master’s degree, this pattern continues. Assuming that she’s single at the end of her graduate degree, the attention continues to be showered on her once she enters the workplace. There are always guys asking her out and weekends are never spent in solitude.

She is far more aware of what she wants in a man – usually it’s more than his resume.

However, during this period, a number of external forces come into play that will slowly change her position. Her girlfriends start getting married. Initially, this is a trickle, but by the time she’s in her late 20s, attending mehendis and bachelorette parties becomes de rigeur. Simultaneously, in the workplace, there are five batches of trainees that have come in after her. She soon notices that male attention is now perennially on the younger women.

All this is happening while she’s rapidly approaching the big Three-Oh and she starts to panic: “What if I’m still single at 30?” Of course, it doesn’t help that her entire khandaan has been on her case for a while now, introducing her to a bunch of guys that she simply cannot connect with. But she refuses to settle.

Thirty has come and gone, and she’s still single. By now the bachelorette parties have been replaced by baby showers and discussions around how in-laws should be outlawed. It’s the Travel and Living Channel that is now her best friend. Many of the guys that she meets are simply looking to get into her pants or just don’t measure up intellectually. Out of sheer desperation, she attempts searching for a mate on a matrimonial site but simply gives up after her initial subscription expires.

I think there are three reasons that lead to a situation like this in our urban society today.

First is that we Indian men, for the most part, haven’t got to the point yet where we’re able to acknowledge that women can be and very often are more educated than us. It’s a complex issue that includes being mama’s boys, our inherent chauvinism, and a general inability of men to keep pace with a rapidly changing social milieu.

Second, it’s tougher for a 35-plus woman to get hitched when compared to a man of the same age. This is because a woman in her 20s is OK with a 35-year-old guy but not vice-versa. This is a function of our social conditioning where empirically most wives are younger than their husbands. Men are generally not interested in getting hitched to an older woman. This is maybe because they’d like a mate that has more childbearing years ahead of her. Or perhaps it is simply because for a man the choice of marrying someone younger exists – an option that is less available for a thirty-something woman.

Separately, women have a strong view that they are ahead of the maturity curve when compared to men of the same age. The combination of these phenomena makes it mathematically more difficult for older women to find men to marry since the pool of eligible men is smaller than that of eligible women.

Finally, once a woman has entered her 30s, she’s been working for over a decade and is financially secure, has travelled a bit and has likely been in a couple of relationships. She is far more aware of what she wants in a man – usually it’s more than his resume. It’s someone who has a range of interests that transcend watching TV and hanging out with the boys. A shared passion for music, literature, art or travel would be ideal. For many of the brilliant single male engineers, doctors and MBAs out there, they’ve likely been consumed by their work and may not be as ‘well rounded’ as the women would like.

For the few men that actually fit the bill, they’re finally in a situation where they are the desired minority. It’s a 180-degree shift from college. This realisation, combined with the fact that men are not on ‘the clock’ could slow things down a bit. He perhaps believes that it’s now his turn to play the field before making a commitment.

What is most interesting is that single women are changing the rules of the game in bold ways. For example, a single friend of ours recently adopted a child and will be a single parent to her daughter. The broader social trend has certainly not played itself out fully, and we’re very much living in a society where the rules are being rapidly rewritten by women.

This article first appeared on Firstpost.com on Nov. 21, 2011 under the pseudonym Anand Mitra.

There are many different and unique ways to plan for a first date. Bangalore has become a lot better over the last few years, and options abound. Whether it be bowling, a play, art exhibitions or even horse riding! 

But, truth be told, the standard first date will most likely be either a dinner and a movie, an evening out at a pub, or maybe coffee. These are safe, comfortable choices, and there is nothing wrong with that. Leave the adventure sports and showing off your artistic taste for the third date.

There is a particular type of first date that seems to work very well in other cities, but I don’t think is too popular in Bangalore. It’s the lunch-break date. It works particularly well for a first meeting, especially for blind dates and situations where you really don’t know the other person well. Take a slightly extended lunch break, say an hour and fifteen. Don’t worry too much about what you are wearing, your work clothes are fine. Meet up at a coffee or lunch place not too close to the office. You really don’t want colleagues distracting you. 

Stage set. So, is it going disastrously? Make a work excuse and politely cut the date short. Going well? Make sure to set up the second date before the date ends. Simple eh?

Try it out, and first dates will become less of a high stakes game.

This is a post from Team Floh

This is a guest post by Floh member, Rajat, who shares his views about personal connections after watching this video:

“The universe: it is vast and dark and makes us wonder if we are alone. So maybe the reason we make all of these things, is to remind ourselves that we are not.”

Nice work, Zuckerberg. Indeed, Facebook is just like chairs at an Indian wedding dinner - where you are forced to sit with people you already know but clearly don’t want to. Though Facebook is now near ubiquitous in most parts of the world, loneliness continues to be a problem for different age groups. Its no longer about being connected to people you already know but making new connections around shared interests is the real challenge. Only a few of us are as connected or popular as we would like to be and are compartmentalized in our social circles such as family, schools, colleges or work. As life promises to become busier and traffic jams longer, the prospect of our social lives becoming livelier seems bleaker. How will we find like minded pals or love for that matter?

More so than the social networks or even matrimonial sites, it will be online/offline networks like Floh who will form these connections. And then, the above ad will truly be apt.

This is a guest post by a Floh member.

You have a profile online. It’s a snapshot of your best foot forward, and I gave it a quick skim. Interesting. But, I see the next button, and the thumbnail looks promising. Maybe the next profile will be better? So I click, and my encounter with your profile ends, as casually as it began. 

Would I have done the same to you in person? Probably not. Actually, let’s make that very unlikely.  You certainly don’t come with an easily skimmable list of likes and dislikes. Neither do you have a compatibility rating hovering somewhere to the right of your face. But, there you are and so am I. Maybe I’ll clear my throat and speak a few words. You might do the same. Who knows? You may just be the one. And, I wouldn’t have known that just by glancing at your profile.

This is a post by Simran Mangharam, co-founder of Floh.

While talking to many bright young women, the majority of them say that the main reason they are still single is because they intimidate men. These fine young ladies are well-educated, financially independent and well-traveled. They are smartly attired, coiffed, pedicured, manicured and well-heeled.

Men find them attractive enough to strike up a conversation, perhaps even spend an afternoon or evening with them. The woman thinks she is having a fantastic time, and then to her dismay - the man doesn’t call her back. If she calls him, he either does not respond or makes excuses not to meet.

This is that time when most women wonder - what did I do wrong? Did I intimidate him?

I decided to observe and research this further. In my circle of influence, I know many intelligent, opinionated, and highly successful women who are either happily married, or with a partner of their choice. There are many such examples of famous women in the world of business as well - Marissa Mayer, Sheryl Sandberg, Indira Noyi, Chanda Kochar, Naina lal Kidwai, to name a few. Not only did they find a partner of their choice, they seem to be leading comfortably balanced lives.

There will be men who will get intimidated by you - these are clearly men YOU don’t want to be with. Don’t let them cloud your opinion about yourself, and then try to act differently with all other men you are interested in thereafter. By being cautious and by not bringing out the person you really are - you end up sending mixed vibes and THAT confuses the men.  It is tough to have an interesting and meaningful conversation, if you are being watchful of what you are saying, and while you are trying to “tone it down a bit”  you might not be perceptive enough to read the reaction of the man.

Have you ever thought about why the great outdoors can be so great for singles?

After twenty years of guiding treks and shepherding hundreds of  both the young and the elderly, the fit and the not-so-fit, the green and the seasoned –  the singular breed that captures my interest is the ‘single traveler.’ And, for good reason too.  In my opinion, the nature of outdoor adventure travel ensures the strictest natural selection –  there are not many who get attracted to this sort of travel so your chances of meeting someone fun are rather high.  So, if you are the sort to walk trails, or go white-water rafting,  chances are you may be headed in the right direction with a group of singles.

On every journey, the air comes alive with the weightlessness of not needing to conform to the city mask, to not be burdened by stereotypes and the easy familiarity of being amongst a kind. This very energy has an interesting dimension, and the universe begins to work in favour of this motley crew.  They forget packing city airs, stop dropping names,  forget air kissing and get on with the business of being themselves, their true selves.  The outdoors is the perfect way to anyone to find themselves. And, for a single person there’s a bonus – you have a great chance to finding the most interesting singles who share a passion for travel and adventure.  

This is a guest post by Vaibhav Kala, the founder of Aquaterra Adventures and India’s first ‘activotel’, Atali Ganga.  He has been guiding outdoors adventure trips for over 2 decades, including in the Himalayas and overseas. Find out more at www.aquaterra.in and www.atali.in.

Readers of our blog get a special 15% off from Atali Ganga. Simply mention that you read about Atali on the Floh blog when making a reservation and ask for the Floh discount.

This is a guest post by Floh member, Vir Dasmahapatra. He shares a single man’s perspective on the role of looks and other aspects on attraction and natural selection.

A bunch of chaps from Floh spent an engaging couple of hours recently at The Square as we tried discovering what single men in their 30s really think and want.

Sidman convinced us to write a little about the various perspectives we brought out. So, here’s mine, on the subject of whether we’re concerned about looks in women.

I think most men and women do care about looks, and this is a perfectly natural condition. I see this as an evolutionary instinct that is hardwired into practically all creatures in nature. Going by Darwin’s principles of natural selection and sexual selection, the observable physical characteristics of animals are what lead to the selection of mates. Therefore, in a party, if a man is first attracted to a woman on the basis of her looks, it’s not because he is ‘shallow.’ 

That being said, humans (well… many humans) deviate from ‘animals’ because alongside deeply ingrained biological drives, they also have intellect, values, and emotions governing their selection of partners. As a single person, when I walk into a party/gathering, I might first feel drawn to a woman who (to me) looks very attractive - it’s a natural instinct that filters her out from the rest of the women. But let’s say, I observe that she is unkind to people around her, or foul mouthed, or inconsiderate,  my interest in her drops dramatically because she goes against values that I hold. A woman who is less physically attractive to me, but holds herself with grace, speaks intelligently, deals well with people around her becomes infinitely more attractive than someone who only has looks working for her. 

Here’s an example from my life. A few months ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to her friend’s blog. The blogger, a single lady, had the most delightful perspective on life and its issues. I hadn’t seen what she looked like, but I got an insight into the kind of person she is , and I was attracted to the way she expressed herself. I didn’t hesitate to reach out and make contact with her. We got together for lunch and spent a great afternoon chatting about everything under the sun. We didn’t start dating because she was leaving the country very soon, but I did get an opportunity to discover a great person, and I’m very happy about that. Looks had a negligible role to play in that entire interaction. She wasn’t someone who would necessarily have caught my eye in a party, but knowing what I did of her, I most certainly would have asked her out for more lunches had she remained in the city! 

Let’s not kid ourselves. Assuming you don’t know anything about each other, physical attractiveness is most likely the first lens through which you look at someone from the opposite sex. But, if you’re a healthy, functional adult, this will definitely not be the only criterion for you to make a choice. This is what makes humans stretch Darwin’s principles as well. Look around you, and you will find hundreds and thousands of examples of couples that are unevenly matched on physical attractiveness (ever found yourself wondering “How in the world did that guy get a girl as gorgeous as her?”). I believe that the most powerful decisive factor overall is attraction to what is beyond physical beauty or wealth and social status. It is about personality, charisma, compassion, and other variables that distance us from ‘animals.’

So, as a single, 30 year old guy, reflecting on what it means to be single and looking for a life partner, it makes a lot of sense when Floh encourages its members to dress well, and it makes even more sense when Simran exhorts that you should always, always, always be yourself. Be aware of what’s best in you, be aware of your vulnerabilities, and be open about expressing both. When you can express and project your natural self, you give others the opportunity of understanding you better and increase your chances of attracting someone who appreciates more than your best outfit and fancy new hair do. Think about it!

This is a post by Siddharth Mangharam, Founder and CEO of Floh. He completed his MBA from the Ross School of Business, Ann Arbor, Michigan many, many years ago.

It’s been over a decade since I graduated from the University of Michigan and like a lot of folks, the years at university were among the best of my life. One happy memory that I have from Ann Arbor is getting introduced to my first microbrewery - the Arbor Brewing Company on East Washington Street - just a couple of blocks away from the Business School. Many happy evenings were spent there appreciating the artisanal approach to making beer. I’ve not been back for several years, but I’m delighted that the ABC has now opened in the heart of Bangalore, bringing back memories of raucous late nights (no silly 11:00PM deadline in Ann Arbor!) with classmates.

I first heard about ABC Bangalore a few months ago and decided to check it out in December. It’s a large, impressive, open and very welcoming space with huge stainless steel tanks of brew taking center stage. There’s a separate section dedicated for beer and wine tasting as well as a sit-down dining section and an al fresco section However, my favorite part of the brewery is the Tap Room which is perfect for Floh events. Intimate and exclusive, this is where Floh will be hosting our first event of 2013.

For me this is coming a full circle – Bangalore has always been home and getting a piece of Ann Arbor right here, in the heart of the city just makes me believe that Santa Claus exists. Cheers to getting a piece of Ann Arbor to Bangalore!