Is it okay to say those three words?

This is a post by Floh member Dhruvi Shah.

Surely, you’ve been in “love” some time.

And you remember the anxiety, nervous energy, weight of saying the three words, “I love you” to someone you really do. That moment, when you finally put it out there in those exact three words will stay with you, no matter what you do.

As a millennial, I am terrified of telling a boy I love him, let alone make a big deal about it. I’m sure boys feel this too.

It’s almost like the sand beneath my feet will slip away, the sky will come falling down or everything as I know it will shatter if I profess my feelings in that manner.

When did expressing one’s truest feelings turn into so much anguish?

As recently as last weekend, I watched the film, Befikre. Yes, I didn’t have much better to do. This boy (Ranveer Singh) and girl (Vaani Kapoor) are on their way to the apartment they are moving in in together. When she asks him to pull over the car midway. She informs him that they are never getting married. Then she questions him, “Why won’t we say stupid things like ‘I love you’ to each other?” He promptly answers, “Because then everything becomes emotional, senti and it’s the end of fun.” That answer is “perfect” for her and they resume driving.

Heck, saying “I love you” does have emotional weightage and that is the beauty of it. Isn’t it? It brings the sentiment to an otherwise fun and not so serious ‘relationship’.

I think the problem is that the person on the receiving end assumes that these words are being spoken with expectations attached to them. And they’re not entirely wrong to think so. Many times, we’ve all said it to manipulate our way into things. We probably end fights that way or start sex or say it in the middle of sex to validate the experience. We say it when we want to take the relationship to the next level or we definitely say it before a proposal of marriage.

Yes, it means all of the above but it also means that you simply love the other person. No frills.

To borrow expressions of love from my favourite romantic comedy, 10 Things I Hate About You:
“I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme

I hate the way you’re always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry

I hate the way you’re not around
And the fact that you didn’t call
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

If you think about it, there is no room for hate, just more than enough for love.
Hence, Heath Ledger‘s character’s rendition of the popular song in the same movie is the perfect response.
“You’re just too good to be true.
Can’t take my eyes off you.
You’d be like heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived.
And I thank God I’m alive.
You’re just too good to be true.
Can’t take my eyes off of you.

I love you baby, and if it’s quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night.
I love you baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh pretty baby, don’t bring me down I pray.
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay.
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you…”

So, if you really think about it, saying “I love you” isn’t as crazy as it’s made out to be.

Free yourself and say it when you want to, to the person who deserves to you hear it.